Mirror Mirror On The Wall...

My mom is the sweetest, best mom ever. I love her so much. And there is just no way my beautiful, YOUNG mother turned 53 today!! But that's what her birth certificate says. Of course, we know those are SO OFTEN wrong... so we don't put much stock in that lousy slip of paper.

I've wanted to write a blog post for a while now about how I'm like (or not like) my mom. Everyone always says I have more of her side of the family in me. Granted, I do have the brown eyes & brown hair (although it's dyed a little blond!), but I wonder what (besides my looks) I see from my mom in myself. Beyond that... I KNOW how I'm like her; I wonder what everyone else sees.

I like to kid my dad a lot about the traits I MUST'VE gleaned from his chromosome... you know, like the pig-headedness, the lead foot, and the irritability. ;) But if I truly ponder the "big five" personality traits, a lot -- and I mean a lot -- of me is a pretty clear reflection of my mom. "Mirror, mirror, on the wall... I am my mother, after all." Right, Dad?

Now, MOST of what she passed on to me is full of goodness & positivity. I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, people... she's just really that good of a person. (And I'm not saying I'm anywhere near the person she is; I just got little tidbits of traits here & there.) She gave me conscientiousness (she has A LOT and I have a tiny fraction), a genuine compassion for the human condition, sensitivity, the ability to cooperate or team with just about anyone, an openness to learning about new people or things (of course, she'll be the first to tell you she cares nothing about learning technology-related things and I'm a bit of a techno geek... but at least we share the desire to learn about humanity), and appreciativeness. (She also made me the stickler I am for spelling & grammar... which makes me, at this moment, question whether or not "appreciativeness" is a real word. I'm going with it... because it's late and I'm tired, not because I don't care.)

There are other positives, I'm sure (morality, spirituality, good looks!, etc.), but I want to talk a little more about two of our shared pain-in-the-rear traits before I head to bed for the evening.

One... We're both pleasers (like other people I know, for sure). As long as everyone around us is happy, we're pretty happy. And if we had something to do with that happiness, EVEN BETTER! Neither of us wants to make a decision until we've heard what everyone else wants or doesn't want. It gets a little hairy when one loved one wants one thing and another wants something different. Damn those conflicting desires. We HATE to play favorites and just plain won't do it unless absolutely forced to. In fact, we'll work our little tails off to make sure we fulfill as much of everyone's wishes as possible. Of course, the problem with this is we never get to really think about (much less express) what we really want. Our needs and wants ALWAYS play second fiddle. Fair? Probably not; but, c'mon... what we really want is for everyone else to be happy. No need to think any further than that. Seriously. Stop asking me what I want.

Two... We're both exceptionally emotional. Our hearts definitely rule these lives. Please don't ask me to be logical about something I feel strongly about. And don't get all irritated when I have to cry about something. It means a lot to me, I'm going to cry about it. Geez! Now... unfortunately, this trait sometimes gets in the way of the pleasers in us; so don't be surprised when you get both the emotional "but I want it" and the "whatever will make you happy is fine with me" plays. Darn these feelings. Every once in a while, one of them jumps up & grabs us; and we have to fight to keep that desire down so that we can forget about what we might want, what might bring us true joy, and focus on what everyone else feels pretty okay about. I think the world would tip off its axis if we found something we couldn't live without and decided to throw caution to the wind to go grab it.

Mom, no offense, but I wish I could trade in at least a tiny piece of the pleaser in me for a little more I-know-what-I-want-and-by-gosh-I'm-going-to-get-it. And I think YOU should wish for that too. You deserve everything your little heart desires. So, stop saying you can't think of a thing you want for your birthday. Get irritated that I haven't bought you anything yet; and tell you little daughter (who really only wants to please you) what she can do (belatedly) to make your 53rd birthday the best ever! Happy Day, Mom! I love you!!!