I Sing My Songs Confident in the Knowledge That You'll Be Here to Sing Along

Well... if you read my post from earlier, you know how my day STARTED. What you should know is that after my I'm-a-worthless-poser feelings this morning, I decided that there are two types of people at work. I (sadly) mistook the pretentious ones for "AWESOME people who realy know their stuff and could truly contribute on a big scale". Yeah... no, they're pretentious suck-ups. And the other type? True dum-dums. And not the good kind of dum-dums that you get at the doctor's office or for being an all-access member of the sad club. Real dum-dums who think "the way we've always done it" is the best way to do it; folks who conveniently "forget" to tell you that they're working on a project that's gonna make your life miserable... or they just don't KNOW what they do has ripple effects. Regardless... what I said earlier definitely still stands. We are a company of non-thinkers and non-contributers. We don't communicate and we don't work as a team.

Anyway, so, I'm BETWEEN those two as well. And I think that's a good thing. I'd rather be a faker who people think is an all-star than a pretentious suck-up OR a dum-dum. But I do like cherry dum-dums. And... you should know that I didn't let the I'm-a-loser-I-should-DO-something feeling overwhelm me. I felt it for a little while, got supremely frustrated with the stupidity of a few of my colleagues (during my first attempt to make a difference), and went back to tagging and cataloguing all the photos in my My Pictures folder. Truthfully, I do want to make a difference. I do want to do more. For two reasons: 1) my own self-worth is inexplicably tied up in my competence and 2) I really do want to do things that will please my boss. When she leaves, I'm OUT. Well... I'm checking out... even if I do let 'em keep sending me the paycheck. I do wonder when she will leave. Personally, I don't think she's been thrilled with her own job for a while now.

OBVIOUSLY, it's time for me to reconnect with the group that energizes me. It's time for our quarterly management team meeting. Luckily, it's next week in State College. Just in time to save me from my non-thinking, non-contributing, non-communicating, we suck self.

Okay, that's enough time away from the pictures. I like big projects that take forever to finish. I always have something to work on. :) ALWAYS approaching the satisfaction of a job well done. Never quite reaching it. But I WILL succeed. I WILL persevere. I WILL be happy.

Meanwhile, the view from my Accord: