Friendly Advice for Your Neighborhood Speller

Does anyone else out there feel just the slightest bit sorry for Kaavya Viswanathan? I mean, all the poor girl did was write a little novel. And, seriously, it was chick-lit... CHICK-LIT IS ALL THE SAME. So, until every other chick-lit novelist out there is blasted for plagiarism (would anyone else had had a hard time spelling that word? c'mon, not all of us are spelling nazis... is it bad to use the word "nazis" in a flippant comment like that?... anyway), I want everyone to just get off sweet little Kaavya's back. So she read a few chick-lit novels in her day. Who among us hasn't? And so she liked them well enough to remember bits and pieces of them. Who among us doesn't? And so she has a convenient photographic memory. Well, okay, I won't even pretend to have any film in mine (see? I just plagiarized that myself! So sue me... take my novel off the shelves... have me tried & convicted in the court of public opinion and the blasted New York Times). Anyway, I think the backlash of criticism is a little overkill. I mean, seriously, Candace Bushnell & Darren Star would be suing everyone in sight if it was a crime to steal a clever SATC-ism (helloooo... Sex and the City... didn't I already tell you that once?). Every single chick-lit author since 1998 (did you know that was the first SATC year?) has swiped a piece of that. And beyond the world of chick-lit (into the realm of rambling, bumbling, & disjointed), I bet if every author out there went through and read my entries on this here blog, several of them would find "questionable passages" where they might think I had plagiarized them. I HAVEN'T. Believe me, it's hard enough to come up with topic ideas and original/semi-funny (I know... I try too hard to be funny) paragraphs without having to worry about the plagiarism police. Although... having said that, I do understand, Honor Court Chairpeople (did you know there were two at Carolina? -- one for undergrad, one for grad), that plagiarism is a reprehensible action... punishable by very bad things.

I promise that I have neither given nor received unauthorized aid on this paper... I mean, blog posting. And, furthermore, any resemblance to the plot, structure, writing style, phrasing, and even character names within the works of anyone else in the world (published, unpublished, or merely glimmer of idea in future author's brain) is purely coincidental and completely unintentional.

Of course, maybe I don't know enough about it. Maybe she did plagiarize (I'm getting better at spelling that word the more I type it). Maybe I was just desperate for a blog topic and couldn't come up with one on my own... and I feel that I have to stick together with my girl who also merely borrowed someone else's idea(s). What do you think? Guilty? Not guilty?

In my life, the answer's always guilty. Life revolves around guilt. I'd make a good Catholic. And yes, every one of you out there who's saying... hey, I told her that... you did. All of you. And you're all right.

Things to feel guilty for:
1) going to the pool during work hours... technically, it could've been considered my lunch break, so get off my back;
2) wait... WHY am I listing out the things that I have to feel guilty for? Geez... that was almost really, really dumb. I guess you'll just have to make do with your own lists... or those things on my list that you happen to know.

I will tell you one thing Cooper has to feel guilty for... and that's BITING ME. He does feel lots and lots of remorse... but he has promised that if I ever help pull anything else from his rear end again, he'll do it again. Well, Cooper, little buddy... how about we just stop playing with tennis balls and other such toys with yellow fuzz that you can pull off with your teeth and swallow? Good plan?

Well, I've worn a place in the carpet sitting here thinking about/typing this entry (I promise... you can even feel it if you do a cursory swipe of your hand), so I guess I better be heading off to bed. Tonight's a little dissimilar from last night in that I let Jon take the dogs out for the last time. Last night's starry sky was just breath-taking -- definitely that backlit canopy with holes punched in it. Well... maybe I'll get to see tonight's sky after all... or maybe if I just ignore her whining, she'll decide to settle down & go to sleep. Tune in to find out...

Hope your Wednesday morning is fantabulous!