Just. Can't. Do. It. Anymore

The sleepiness is overtaking me. It has definitely caught me. I spent the whole afternoon... between about 2 and NOW... wishing I could just lay my head down. And now, it's time. So, sorry, but I can't hold my eyes open anymore. And I don't want to fall asleep typing a blog posting... AGAIN. Hope you're not too disappointed. But, just take some satisfaction out of the fact that I'll be up before most (if not all) of you tomorrow AM.

As I lay me down to sleep
This I pray
That you will hold me dear
Though I'm far away

X's and O's. G'night. Zzzzzzzzz

Asking You To Be Nearer

One of my favorite blogs featured a write-up of the movie "Failure to Launch" this morning. She warned her readers that she was gonna spoil it for anyone who still wanted to watch it without knowing the ending, but I just couldn't look away. She wasn't a big fan. But, hey, it's got Matthew McConaughey in it... we'll like it regardless... right, Amy? And speaking of movies, I'm really desperate to get up to NC to see "Talladega Nights" with Haley. I'm sure it'll be great no matter who I see it with, but I'm missing my sis like crazy.

Speaking of which...

Yes, that's right. Haley ROCKS! Congrats, little girl, on the jobbie job. We are ALL extremely proud of you. You are going to kick ass at App!!!

Okay, one more day at the office. One more night at the hotel. And one more early morning (Friday when I have to get up at the crack of dawn to fly back to SAV).

I lied to you last night. I didn't get to bed before midnight. Go figure. And tonight... well, let's just say the time of this post is QUITE misleading. No matter, though, I'm sleeping in in the morning. :) The boss was sick today, but I went in early with Dean-o anyway. Tomorrow, I'm on my own, though. And there are several planned vacation days for staffers. So, I'm taking it upon myself to quasi-adopt my normal schedule (of course, minus the laying in the bed working till 10:30, running on the treadmill for 40 minutes, showering in the middle of the day, running to Sonic/Chick-fil-A/fast-food-restaurant-du-jour, and not really getting started working until 2:00-ish). But, aside from that, and the clothes & make-up & real office furniture & colleagues, it'll be EXACTLY the same.

By the way... since I haven't really told many of you about it (sorry... haven't really had time to catch up on this trip)... my performance review went VERY WELL and I'll have a few more dollars to spend at Sonic over the next year. I'm so lucky. I DO REALIZE IT. Remind me to treat you next time we're together! :)

Over and out. 10/4.

My Supreme Genius

When I'm not feeling that creative, I steal things from other people's blogs. Thanks Brad. :) You also make me laugh... TMNT? Oh, and... I sure talked you up today to multiple HR folks in Port Angeles. No word yet on the position, but my boss seemed to be interested. It's on hold for now while the CEO temporarily supervises... and attempts to figure out what's been going wrong. Yes, I know you could do it better. I'd tell 'em, but I kinda like my job at the moment. Let's chat about it sometime. Catch me online or something.

Your Birthdate: November 1

You are a natural born leader, even if those leadership talents haven't been developed yet. You have the power and self confidence to succeed in life, and your power grows daily. Besides power, you also have a great deal of creativity that enables you to innovate instead of fail. You are a visionary, seeing the big picture instead of all of the trivial little details. Your strength: Your supreme genius Your weakness: Your inappropriate sensitivity Your power color: Gold Your power symbol: Star Your power month: January

Find Your Own Meaning in Your Birthdate

Speaking of being online, yes I'm addicted, yes I'm always on, and yes I love love love catching up with old friends via AIM. Give me a shout-out anytime you see me there. :)

Okay, I'm going to bed before midnight for the first time in a long time. Perhaps it will help with the I-can't-get-my-sorry-butt-out-of-bed mornings I've been having.

Anyway... I want to blow these up & put 'em on my walls. Whatdaya think?


Oh yeah... and the worst news of all from today... my best bud on the staff is leaving. Girl, I hope it's to do something fun!!! You deserve great, great, great things. Love you... and I'll miss you... I do ALREADY (and I'm not even supposed to know yet!). AND someone from the past is (potentially) reappearing in the group. Interesting how things turn around in a short little time. Not that you care, but I'll probably write more about that later (since it's pretty meaningful in my life)... when I'm allowed to know, perhaps. LOL

Oh! The Travesty!

Staying in a hotel about 50 feet from where you used to LIVE is a bit surreal. When I visit State College, the "feel" of my visit depends on the hotel. If I'm at the Ramada, it's a trip down memory lane (I stayed there the first time I ever came up here... for my interview at the COR). It always feels somewhat nostalgic over there. Not that that trip was the best... because I was pretty sure I didn't want the job (alas, I took it since I didn't have many options at the time... and I'm sure glad now that I did!)... but I felt really good about myself at that point in my life. There have actually been a couple interviews in my life where I left feeling like I knocked it out of the park: C-COR and Northwood. And to commemorate the Northwood experience, I often play "Miss Fabulous" for myself. Anyway, that's an odd ... and a little bit embarassing tidbit for me to reveal right now. Sorry... I lost my train of thought. Oh yeah, Ramada... nostalgic... trip down memory lane. When I stay at the Hilton Garden Inn, however, it feels like a normal business trip. I never stayed there until after I moved away. Heck, it wasn't even built until late into our time in State College. It's nice, but it's definitely "just a hotel" on my trips up here. But, this time, I'm in the Holiday Inn Express. Fifty feet from our first apartment up here. I used to look out my front window into this place and wonder what the rooms looked like. And now, here I am... looking back at our old apartment, wondering what the rooms look like. It's just... surreal. And no, I can't really think of a better word for it.

Anyway, the trip to State College was loooooong. My flight out of Savannah was delayed, causing me to miss the 2nd leg; so I was stuck in Cinci for 6 hours... awaiting the next (and last) flight into State College. Delta really took care of me, though. They gave me a $7.00 meal voucher. Anyway, I tried to use my time wisely, but I ended up screwing around online most of the time. Yes, I bought the Internet connection. Usually, I think that's the dumbest thing in the world... buying an Internet connection at an airport... but usually, I'm not there for 6 hours. So, I thought of the $9.95 as a replacement expense for dinner (with the $2.95 difference dismissed... b/c it's just $2.95).

That was that... and time has played its oldest trick... alas, the night is over. It sure didn't feel like a regular Monday for me. And I'm sure the rest of the week won't feel "normal" either. It never does when I'm back up here. First of all, it's always weird going in to work & sitting in the this-is-not-my-office-but-I-have-to-use-it-because-you-gave-my-real-one-away office. And just to keep the record straight, yes... I have a sentimental attachment to my OLD office... even though I got stuck with it AFTER I was promised the office-with-a-window. But whatever... forgive and forget. Another reason it's weird is because I feel like I fall right back into my old habits (lunch out every day, for example). But the rest of the staff has adopted a new lifestyle without me here to push them into my habits. For the lunch-out-every-day example, I think ALL of them have stopped doing lunch out together EVER... until I come back to town, at which time they all wait to see what I have "planned" (me, planning... what a hoot!). Anyway... it's just weird, I tell ya... because they don't do lunch with each other, but they still accompany me every day I'm up here. And finally (there are more, but I'm tired), the OH HI's that I have to hand out. I really do like most of the people I work with... but, hello, I'm here about once every three months or so. You see me enough. And you talk to me constantly. So, it's not like we're unacquainted... or out of touch! Yet, when you see me in the hallway, it's as if I've been gone forever. I love the attention, but after the 20th time of having the same conversation... good God, just shut up. Oops, sorry... did I say that out loud? I guess it just fit there.

Meanwhile, I'm determined not to forget to take my computer down to the help desk once again. (I remembered last time... but it didn't get fixed.) It runs hot... so hot that I can't even hold it on my lap anymore. And the help desk technician last time told me it wasn't meant to be a "lap top". OK, OK... my notebook computer gets so hot on the bottom that it burns my hands when I pick it up from one surface to place it on another (one of which may just happen to be my "lap"). Anyway, after cranking it up, he changed his tune and agreed that there was a problem. He offered to take it apart & blow it out... but I needed it for something or other. Maybe I'll let him do a good cleaning this time... you know, get out all the dog hair. Oops! LOL... oh well.

Okay, well... travesty averted... blog posting completed... resting commencing.

Survey the State of the Soul (After Climbing Over the Top)

Well, boys & girls, I obviously forgot to open my post tonight before I wrote it. So, here I am, revealing to all of you my stay-up-too-late-then-struggle-with-what-to-write habits. I'm so ashamed. No, no... don't look directly at me.

Anywho... there was a story in today's New York Times Daily Headlines e-mail that grabbed my attention for two reasons. The story was entitled "Survey of the Blogosphere Finds 12 Million Voices" and the first sentence: "Bloggers are a mostly young, racially diverse group of people who have never been published anywhere else and who most often use cyberspace to talk about their personal lives, according to a report on blogging released yesterday by the Pew Internet & American Life Project." Now for the two reasons: 1) I love reading about who's blogging and 2) I don't trust surveys as far as I can throw 'em.

I love reading about who's blogging... it just makes me feel connected to so many other people! I mean, I know there are tons and tons of people out there who keep diaries/journals, evidently approximately 12 million of which are electronic accounts-of-life that are laid out here for the world to see. I was intrigued to note that most of us blog about our personal lives. So, it sometimes concerns me that I tend to "lay it all out there" for all y'all to read every morning (or night)... although, who are we kidding? There's, of course, lots and lots and lots that I don't tell you. Seriously, you thought you were getting all of me?!?! C'mon now, that's reserved for a few very special people! Not that all of you aren't special. But, hello, you're reading about my life on the Internet... not hearing it directly from me via phone, IM, e-mail, or in-person visit! Anyway, yes, although it's not everything, it's probably not unsubstantial either. And as my Auntie pointed out to me when she called to ask me where my blog was located on the interweb, you have to be careful how much information you put out there! Am I too naive? Probably. Do I believe everything will be fine in the end? Definitely. One of those traits I got from my mother... the other came directly from my dad. See if you can figure it out for yourselves.

I don't trust surveys as far as I can throw 'em! Now, this... THIS... is a major thing with me. I took the J-school courses that talked about surveys. I listened and tried to learn the material. But I JUST DON'T BUY IT. Neilsen... c'mon... has anyone really ever BEEN a Neilsen family? I actually downloaded the application that was supposed to be the Neilsen Web Statistics stuff... never could get the damn thing to work. And, seriously, exit polls? Did a CNN representative ever ask any regular people who they voted for? I've voted in several elections myself and NOT ONE SOUL has ever even pretended to ask me who I voted for. So, they haven't asked me. And I don't know anyone else they have asked. So, how can I trust that they're reliable? Anyway, I know this rant is absurd. But, too often, surveys go directly against my opinion... and, of course, my opinion is the CORRECT one. So, obviously, the surveys are flawed. Anyway, for those of you not buying into my conspiracy theory (which I could explain in far greater -- and much more coherent -- detail if it weren't 2 am already), you may enjoy the fact that Gallup has its own web site where you can read about the latest idiotic questions their employees are spanning the globe asking Joe Six-Pack: http://poll.gallup.com. Tonight's top story? The awful, horrible, can-he-be-any-stupider stem cell veto that goes against ever fiber of our scientifically rich civilization of which every single one of our white, middle class, atheist asses belongs. Seriously, I swear, I don't really have that strong of an opinion about it. And hopefully, you can all read sarcastic inflection via blog. It's truly just the holier-than-thou, I-know-everything-and-have-proven-I'm-right-because-10-people-agree-with-me surveys!! And all of y'all out there thinking right now about how I've told you before that I like to complete online surveys to pass the time, SHUT UP. Who asked you? It's just for fun that I do that. Duh!


Cooper agrees with me. See? He's nodding & smiling:

Okay, FINE. He thinks I'm crazy too. But he really does smile in his sleep. :-)

Anyway, have a good... well, I guess it would be MORNING by now! Enjoy the weekend, folks. And if anyone asks you to take part in a survey, kindly tell them I'd like a word.

Who Let the Dogs Out?

Jon received his pre-ordered version of NCAA College Footbal 2007 today (yeah, I know that's not the name, but I don't see the box anywhere close by me... and I'm too lazy to look it up). Needless to say, you can probably guess where Jon's been and what he's been doing for the whole day. It's amazing that he gets so much enjoyment out of it. In anticipation of receiving his pre-ordered copy, he's been practicing on the downloaded version he put onto the XBox. It took him HOURS to download... and it would only allow 1 minute quarters... and you could only play as Florida (against Florida State). But he's been "practicing" with that for a few days now. And finally, today, he's got the real thing. It's very exciting times at our house.

Adding to the excitement earlier this evening was our trip to the doggy-lady's house. She's the most recommended trainer in our area. And Kona tried to bite her. Leslie (that's the trainer's name) seemed shocked that Kona was so aggressive toward her. I was like... PLEASE HELP US. I swear, this dog is soooo weird. She's aggressive as hell toward any stranger, other dog, passerby, golf cart, bicycle, etc. But Cooper can menace the crap out of her at will. All he has to do is jump at her and she gives up whatever toy or treat she was working on. And at night, God forbid Kona actually gets up on the bed. Cooper makes sure she knows she's not allowed. Plus, all I have to do is look at her with my mean look (perhaps some of you know it?!) and she rolls over into her "I'm a submissive good girl, please don't be mad at me" pose.

So, after Kona tried to maim the trainer, she also tried to attack another Jack that's in the "small-group class" we attended. And she didn't like the other people there either. One time, the trainer was attempting to get the dogs to go up an agility ramp (for lack of a better phrase, that's what we'll call it) and Kona acted bite-y again. So, the trainer had to come hold Cooper & have ME try to entice Kona up the ramp thingie. This dog of Jon's, I swear. Cooper was actually decent... aside from trying to bite me (well, gnaw on me is the more appropriate way to put it) when he got frustrated with me trying to make him sit the trainer's way. He was like... um, don't you remember that I KNOW how to sit already? Believe me, Coop, if I could've just done it our way, I WOULD'VE.

Here's to hoping they get better with more work...

All Hands on Deck, Boys, 'Cause This Ship Was Made to Sink

So, by now, you've all probably seen that most-popular little video clip of the leader of the free world talking "off the record" on the record. And talking with his mouth full. And calling out "Yo Blair" (or "Yeah Blair"... depending on the transcript-or) to another free world leader. And saying "shit". And all that other stuff. Anyway, if you haven't seen it, you should go to CNN & watch (it's probably gonna be on the Most Popular list for more days than we care to know). I really think it's not such a big deal (in fact, I'm most disturbed by the fact that no one is making the bigger deal out of the fact that the mic was left on at a meeting of the powers-that-be while they're allowed to assume they're off the record -- c'mon, you KNOW that's when things actually get done). So, shame on the Russians (did I just say the Russians? yes, I did... b/c that's the only way I've heard it put... that "the Russians" were in charge of this event) for not turning off the mics to allow for candid conversation (with or without a roll in the mouth while speaking to other world leaders).

Enough about that. Now on to the CNN Exclusive (of the moment). The headline reads "Please get us out" and it's a full story about a family (from the pic, it looks like mom, dad, and three kids -- including one that's extremely young... maybe one) trapped in Lebanon. The lead is: "The Esseily family was winding up a vacation in Lebanon when the airstrikes began." And if you can get past that first line, it goes on to talk about how the U.S. embassy has told them "we'll call you" and they've yet to hear anything. However, if you're anything like me, you're still stuck on the first line. How does a familiy of five from California (they look normal enough) end up going to LEBANON on vacation?!?!!? Seriously! I really need to know. Honey, you know how you were looking forward to heading down to Aruba for vacation? Well, I've decided that we should go see the sights of Beirut instead. Of course, maybe they're penny-pinchers and it was cheaper. Now, that I would understand. But, if it's a spare-no-expense kind of vacation, WTF??? Anyway... so, yes... I do hope they get to get on the cruise ship that the U.S. government sent to evacuate the American citizens stuck in Lebanon. (How many could there really be, anyway? Anyone know?) AND... I'll even go so far as to say that I hope they get to take advantage of that fee-waiver that the White House announced today. OK... this paragraph just keeps getting stranger. Did anyone else even think to GUESS that the U.S. government would charge a get-us-out-of-this-living-hell FEE? Do they charge it every time they do an evacuation? What if you're taken hostage & the military has to come rescue you? Huh... I wonder if they accept American Express.

In all seriousness... I realize that the situation in the Middle East is extremely perilous. Anyone stuck over there (including all the native-folk) is in my thoughts & prayers. But seriously... a VACATION in LEBANON?

In other news, Mindy McCready went on trial for her 2005 DUI. Her attorney's story is that the field sobriety tests were not performed properly by the arresting officers. He also said, "she removed her shoes for the roadside test, but then found it hard to complete because her pant legs were too long and rocks were hurting her feet." Maybe J.J. can use that excuse when his court date rolls around. And another CLASSY line from the McCready story: "McCready has since sued McKnight over the beating and given birth to his child." Yeah, that's hit record material right there. CAN'T WAIT until she gets back into the studio.


Evidently, I just wanted to talk about the headlines tonight. And Cooper was not interested in the news at all. Actually, this was a pic from several days ago... one of those mid-afternoon siestas I liked giving Jon such a hard time about. But, I saved it for a later post & thought you might like to see it tonight. Sweet baby.

A Brand New Day

Well... I forgot to open this blog post before the clock flipped over into Tuesday... so I guess you're just going to have to be confused about what day it is. It's Monday, it's Tuesday, no... it's Monday.

So, can i just say... one of the most infuriating things in the WORLD to have happen while you're running... a weak-ass hair tie. Someone forgot the world of hair ties is a "survival of the fittest ONLY" place. Who let Tiny Tim in?

And the fact that I had to TIE IT BACK TOGETHER is just unacceptable... and funny as heck... to me, at least.

Anyway, I hope y'all are having a great Monday night/Tuesday morning. The spirit is just not moving me to write tonight, so I'll post a few pics instead. Enjoy Cooper & Kona enjoying the leftovers of Jon's pear. Take it easy, breezy AND beautiful.

Yet Another Time Reference

You'd think I'd get tired of talking about time, but noooooo. This one is kind of different... so I thought I'd give you another spin on my usual.

Look to the clock on the wall,
Hands hardly moving at all.
Can't stand the state that I'm in
Sometimes it feels like the walls closing in

I don't agree with her at all. But, according to the "rules of blogging" (see previous post), we should give due respect to those with differing opinions. Check that off the list for today... and back to ONLY HEIDI'S OPINIONS tomorrow.

Peace, love, and Carolina, y'all.



- Compliments to the artist... who is so obviously not me (especially if you've ever seen me try to draw!)... lovely, lovely work Haley!

You Think You Know Me, But You Have No Idea

I fielded another solicitation phone call from a training vendor today. Since we don't have a true training department or training manager or anyone who has a clue about training our employees, I get to wear that hat along with the multiple others my boss keeps on my head. So, this guy is blah-blah-blahing through his pitch, and I'm half listening. (Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, by the way, I notice my annoying habit of nervous laughter is popping up constantly during the phone call. Now... I didn't even know I had a nervous laughter problem... but evidently, it's pretty evident. Why didn't y'all TELL me? It's actually EVEN on my performance review this year. Gosh... I hope my boss isn't reading my blog. Mary, I love you, if you are... but yes, I sneaked (or is it snuck?) a peek at my review before I was supposed to. She still hasn't met with me about it yet, so I'm not supposed to know. But one of my other hats is SysAdmin for the eAppraisal site... so, being the little inquisitive person who can't wait to KNOW, I did it. I opened my appraisal & looked at it prematurely. But I have been very good about not telling on myself. Over and over again in our management meeting in DC a few weeks ago, I caught myself on the verge of saying something that I could only know if I had looked... and I held my tongue. Imagine that, me. Holding my tongue. Anyway... I digress.)

The salesperson on the phone is giving me his sales pitch. You have to understand that I field lots of these calls. They all pretty much have the same products & offerings. But this guy happened to mention something that caught my attention & I let him set me up with a free preview. Now, our employees are stubborn and backwards. Sorry, guys, but YOU ARE! I have been successful in obtaining (literally) thousands of dollars in grant money to pay for training programs for our employees. And when I announce a new program to people, they're like woohoo! And then months pass by without anyone lifting a finger to participate in anything I've set up (much less actually assist with setting it all up!). In one case, I got us all this free web-based training. The only caveat was that each employee who signed up had to promise to take three courses. THREE. In something like a year. Oh, and some of the courses were seriously 30 minutes long. That's a commitment of an hour and a half. Over the course of A YEAR. At the end of that grant, I was pretending to be over 50 employees, trying my damnedest to get all that training done. And gosh... I hope no one from the grant office or the state is reading this either! Anyway, so point being... our employees just won't do it. They bitch & complain about not having any money to spend on training... but when I go & get the money, set up the system, hand them their usernames and passwords... they don't log in to the courses. Wow... how do I get off on these tangents?

ANYWAY, the salesperson was trying to sell me web-based training, their LMS (learning management system), etc., etc. And then he mentioned that they have an online library of books that they sell. You know how engineers and IT people like to use books as resources? (If you don't know, they do.) Well, all for the low price of (whatever... see? I really wasn't listening), you can have this library of books that they can access at any time, on the web, as often as they want, etc. So, I let him send me a free trial username & password. ALL OF THAT to actually get to what I wanted to say tonight: I found this book in their system about "the living web". And I got so interested that I read quite a bit of it while I was supposed to be doing a million other things. But given that it's about blogging (among other things), I thought it was appropriate to share with you here. And, believe me, if I would've known that it would take me this long (and this much SPACE) to get to the point, I might not've even started! But now I've put all this time & energy into it, so I'm not gonna erase it all!

The book is called The Power of Many: How the Living Web Is Transforming Politics, Business, and Everyday Life. Author: Christian Crumlish. The background of this quote (b/c you KNOW I've got to give you the background!!) is that he (Christian) is a Grateful Dead fan and has just discovered an Internet group, chat room, discussion board (or what have you) about the Dead. One of his "buddies" has sent him a cassette tape of Dead music.

It was great to be able to connect to people all over the world who shared my interests and to ask questions and share information that otherwise would have maundered unaired in the back of our minds or on someone’s shelves. But what truly amazed me was the first time I opened my mailbox to find a package containing cassette tapes. The tapes featured a recording of my first Dead concert—a show in Saratoga, New York in 1984. As I stood there with a physical artifact in my hand, it dawned on me that throughout this Internet cloud—sitting in front of their own computers and typing messages to the same forums—were in fact real flesh-and-blood people. It took something happening in the real world, an actual object being sent through the so-called snail mail, and my chance to hear once again music that I’d heard for the first time twenty years ago to bring this point home to me. I immediately got online and posted something silly to the effect of “Wow, I just found out you all are real!”

I guess that's kind of funny to me because I always kind of semi consider you guys real. I mean, I know who a few of you are... and sometimes "shout out" to you in one way or another. But, I think there are a few unknowns lurking out there too. Anyway, you're all welcome... real or not! :)

Christian also has a web site, and his book lists a number of other sites that may be of interest to the reader. I checked out a few of them and ended up thoroughly enjoying a ilst of "rules for blogging". (Okay, so it's officially titled "10 Tips on Writing the Living Web", but don't get so technical... if I want to call it "rules for blogging", I'll call it "rules for blogging". Get off my back already.) I thought you other bloggers out there might also enjoy the structure that we may or may not follow. Who are we kidding? I fly in the face of "rules for blogging". I think I've broken at least three of them in this post alone! Write for a reason. Ha. Bite me. And my reason.

So, is that enough belligerence for you today? You want some cute Coop & Kona pictures to end your time with me here in Pawpads land on a good note? Why can't you just say it already?! The 411 on the pics: 1) Cooper caught in mid-bark/howl, 2) Kona being her Cheese Dog self, 3) The Creamsicle... or Cooper on a Stick... or I. Just. Can't. Stay. Awake, and 4) The obligatory embarassing pic of the afternoon siesta (another one!).

So, Haley... is it wrong that I sat there and sang the whole GG theme song with your MySpace comment? LOL!!! Thanks for that... and "thank you for being a friend"! X's & O's, folks... g'night.

Appetizing Louder Now

** For those of you who didn't make it to see me Wednesday (where were you?!), read Tuesday's post first. Then you can read this one. It makes sense like that... duh. Oh, and I actually said something interesting enough in Tuesday's post for Lis to mention in her blog. Although I had to read it, like, 20 times just to kind of understand what she was saying (Lis is a smarty, if you don't already know that about her), you may enjoy her take on my take on life's little lesson. Listen to me saying "you may". (If we were in Pennsylvania again, it's possible I might've just said "listen AT me saying "you may"!) Of COURSE you will. Lissy's an excellent writer and will someday be so published she won't be able to store them all (her books and articles, that is). So check out the Toothless Wonder while you're in the neighborhood. (Silly rabbits, the toothless wonder isn't actually Lis. She has all her teeth!) Oh, and congrats on the big decision, boys & girl! **

And shoot... while we're talking about the Toothless Wonder... I stole a pic off their blog to share with you, my loyal readers. This is my beautiful, beautiful godson. Isn't he the cutest?!?! That's right... already styling the glasses like his favorite godmother! A playa fo' sho'.

So, I was driving home from Sonic today & I remember why I started thinking about "maybe if someone would've told him that he meant something to them, just maybe that could've saved his life" (from last night's post). I remembered primarily because the same song (from the same cd) came on again & I started thinking basically the exact same thing. Then my consciousness kicked in & I realized that my thoughts were repeating themselves... almost verbatim. Dang, I hate it when I start being redundant in my own thoughts! Blah, blah, blah... get to the point, Heidi... oh yeah. The song that sparked my thoughts yesterday (for last night's post) and today is "My Wish" (track #5 on Rascal Flatts' Me and My Gang). If you haven't listened to it, you should. But of course I'll repeat some of the lyrics that struck me here.

Well, first of all, I love the first four lines.

I hope that days come easy and moments pass slow,
and each road leads you where you want to go,
and if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.

Days coming easy and moments passing slow? Who could ask for better?!?! How many times have I even said on this blog that I wish time would slow down? It seems to just rev up to warp speed the moment you meet up with someone you love... or the moment a smile spreads across your face, when you laugh a little, when you actually feel good.

Anyway, the second stanza is also fabulous... and where the repeating-thoughts originated:

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

In case it's not as evident to you as it is to me (by the 50 millionth listen), the idea that grabs ahold of me is the wish that you'll never have to carry more than you can hold. The train of thought always begins with something like an image of someone carrying bags of groceries into the house. Then it shifts to the mental burdens of unhappiness and dissatisfaction that someone could be carrying quietly. And then, inevitably, my thoughts always turn to my friend who committed suicide. Somehow, whatever he was carrying got to be too much for him to hold. And he didn't know how to get out from under it.

Anyway, the song is NOT that sad. It's a fabulous song... very uplifting, inspirational, and hopeful. So, I hope you'll overlook my overanalysis of the thoughts it evokes in me and give it a listen yourself... if you have the cd. If you don't, give me a call (or a comment)... I'm glad to share!

So, I started talking to Haley tonight about the "principles of public relations". For her, it's her present... she has an interview for a PR job tomorrow. For me, at the moment, it's more of a past... it was a class I took at Carolina. I pulled out my old notebook for our discussion. And MAN, reading through those notes sure brought back a TON of memories. I LOVED college. I sooooooooo wish I could go back and do it again. It would be different this time. It really would. It was actually quite amusing to read through an essay exam I had to take for my PR class. I was like... who wrote this crap?!?! And why did the prof think it was A work?!?!

Anyway... for this class, the prof gave us an ultra-fun project consisting of creating a series of public service announcements. I made my PSAs about farming (hello... Dad's a dairy farmer... or was, before he retired!). I was so proud of the tagline I created: "Give us this day our daily bread... and milk and corn and beef...". Remember it? Yeah, I thought you might. Ha! Man, I loved that campaign. Maybe I should re-do the whole thing and actually DO something with it!

So, hopefully Haley's 'view(s) -- yeah, that's right... she has more than one -- will go well tomorrow. Thinking of you, bestie. Oh, and happy 10th anniversary of your 21-er, Mikey! I can't, for the life of me, figure out how you got so much older than me! Anyway... hope it was a great one!

Still Right Here Waiting

Come tomorrow, it would've been three full weeks since I stepped foot on that darn treadmill. So, of course, I couldn't let that happen. You know I wouldn't let you down! As I was jogging along today (what I do cannot be considered running, so I'll be generous to myself and call it "jogging")... anyway, so as I was jogging along today, I was thinking about all the interesting stuff I could write on my blog. And now... at the end of the day when it's time to actually write the stupid thing, I can't think of any of those interesting items. Go figure.

Anyway... How did I get stuck on Pepper Dennis? Seriously... how did that happen? When I watched it at the beginning of the season, I felt physical pain b/c it was so bad. Who knew Rebecca Romijn was that bad? And it's STILL that bad, don't get me wrong. But, it's my latest guilty pleasure! I BLAME TIVO (but I still love you!). Anyway, that's what I was up late watching tonight. Well... I was up late working (AGAIN) and that's what I elected to watch in the background (it was Grey's Anatomy re-runs before that). Maybe that's part of the key... only semi-paying attention to it.

So, again... even though I had several things on my mind earlier... I'm saying nothing again tonight. But I cannot leave you again without saying something. Therefore, I'll steal my something from one of the brave & creative souls who sent their secret in to Frank. Yeah, yeah... so I didn't make this postcard... but it says so much.



I had a friend way back when I was in high school. Well, he wasn't actually my friend per se, but I liked him nonetheless. I got to know him very casually because he was a referee for a few of my basketball games. And he worked at a local car dealership where Dad did/does lots of business. So, maybe he was more of a "I see you sometimes, recognize you and can say hi" friend. Anyway... I always enjoyed seeing him. He was a good ref; seemed to be a fun guy; etc. Then one day, he committed suicide. I just remember not understanding how someone could reach that stage of loneliness. How could he not know that I was his friend? Well, I mean, I would've gladly been his friend. I figured he already had a bunch of more appropriate friends than the little high schooler whose games he reffed. While that's probably true (and any friendship would've been weird), it has always stayed with me that... wow... it's harder for me to put into words than I would've hoped. I know it wasn't completely up to me to save his life. But, like with everything else in my life, when I think about him, I still feel a little guilty. Maybe if someone (it didn't have to be me... b/c, seriously, more than a little weird)... maybe if someone would've told him that he meant something to them, just maybe that could've saved his life. Maybe then things wouldn't have seemed so desperate for him. Maybe he'd still be here today and he could actually be my friend.

Okay, well... that didn't turn out exactly like I wanted it to... but it's really late (think 2 am... what did I tell you about not letting the time of the posts fool you?!?!), and working on it any more at this point would be silly. So, I'm leaving it alone for now. The point of all that is.. my friend did, indeed, mean a lot to me... no matter how fleeting his presence was in my life. I still think about him regularly and wish that I could've done something to help. And even with that said, I still don't tell the people I love that I love them nearly enough. To my favorite people in the world... and all the rest of y'all... I want each and every one of you to really know that I don't know what I'd do without you. Thanks for always being here.

Today and every day... happy everything! And many X's & O's from your girl in the 'Boro!

Try It Risk-Free for Seven Days

Even with my writing background (journalism and otherwise), it would be difficult to be a TV writer. I've been watching some more Tivo (of course! b/c what else would I do on a Monday night?!?!). If you've watched any SATC at all, you know that every single episode includes Carrie writing an ingenious article (usually near the beginning of the episode). As an example, one of the eps from my Tivo OD tonight included the following little snippet of Carrie-goodness:

I wondered... were we all just victims of conditioned responses doomed to repeat the same unconscious relationship patterns? Were we all, in fact, just dating the same person over and over again?

I wish I could be clever every night. That would be good. And I'd like to be able to say something... at least periodically... that would reach out & grab someone.

Anyway... that's enough for tonight. Gotta get back to work. Yes... seriously. Haley told me to put it away at 6:00; and it's over 6 hours later. It's still not away. I've been on the VPN for 17 hours straight. With only small little breaks. Swear. No pool today... even though Mom accused me of being there when she called at about 4. Shoot... I really haven't even been outside... except for that 30-minute (or so) walk down to the pond with the family.

One more thing... quickly. I've gotten into the habit of heading outside with K&C just before bed. I try to keep the lights off so I don't scare the neighbors... since I'm usually already in my pj's (which have lately, Mom, been the cutesie Bass short set you got me for Christmas... was it 2 years ago? why don't I wear things when they're new? Could that possibly be something I gained from you?!?! Haley, if you don't wear yours -- and since you need some extra storage space for your beloved wardrobe! -- send it on my way!!!!). Anyway... outside... nightly... in my pj's... oh yeah, the last few nights have been extremely pleasant, with an unbelievably beautiful moon. I know I've talked about it a few times already here... but it really is worth seeing if you haven't taken a look in a while. Of course, maybe it's just prettiest from here. Feel free to come visit and see it from my vantage point. Oh yeah... and the reason I wrote that was to show you this... Cooper's playful, it's-the-middle-of-the-night-and-I-wanna-make-some-noise pose:

Maybe I'm just a fool, but my fool shoes fit so well
Snuggled up in my big fool blanket at the Gramercy Park Hotel

I love hotel beds. Well, let me revise that statement... I love the great hotel beds that I've been blessed with lately. Finally... these hotels GET IT. The bed makes ALL the difference! Sorry... that just popped into my head with that lyric. :-)

Over the Weekend ...

... I took funny (and maybe a little embarassing) pictures of Jon & Cooper while they were taking their mid-afternoon siesta.

... The bed was picked up in a tornado, spun around, and landed on Kona in Oz.

... Glow-ey eyed spirits possessed the dogs while they were running around outside tonight and helped them to learn the trick: synchronized sitting.

Okay, so only one of these things really happened this weekend. But the pics were funny, so I thought I'd share. Hope y'all had a great weekend and you're having a fabulous Monday morning. I bet mine already sucks. I accidentally let my password expire on my work account... and now I have to figure out how to get it reset. Stupid passwords that have to constantly be reset!!!

Standing in for Fergie Today

Being gone from home for two weeks makes it extremely difficult to catch up on the Tivo. I've only got a sec to chat... I must get back to the Las Vegas marathon. I love me some Josh Duhamel. Dang that Fergie. So... did you know (without checking IMDB.com which is how I learned this interesting little Duhamel factoid) that Josh got his acting start on All My Children? Too funny!

Anyway, hope you're having a great Thursday night/Friday morning. Personally, I'm a little agitated (and the Las Vegas is helping take off the edge)... my dang UltiPro keeps freezing up. Stupid VPN. Stupid work at 1 AM. This job doesn't pay enough. Oh wait... sure it does! Hopefully, the sunshine & warm weather at the pool tomorrow will remind just how much I DO like this job. :) Wish y'all could join me! Have a great weekend if I don't "see" you again...

The One Thing We Didn't Do

As you get a little older, there are a few things the family just doesn't do at the
beach anymore. One that I kinda miss...


After a much-too-long drive today (after a 11 am-ish departure from MB), I settled in for another few hours of work. Of course, there's still more to do, though. Ugh. Back at it full-time tomorrow. And maybe I can come up with something interesting to write about on the blog. For now, I'll give you a link to the almost-birthday-girl's post about her sandwich man. Lis is a funny girl & a great writer. And I'd LOVE to read more of her original poetry on her blog! I love reading other people's blogs. Hint, hint, hint. :-)

And finally, I loved the eclectic "playlist" on my drive home, so I thought I'd share some of my own... borrowed... hodge-podgey... poetry:

Seems the road less traveled
Shows happiness unraveled
And you got to take a little dirt
To keep what you love
Thats what you gotta do

I dive in at the deep end
You become my best friend
ah- ah she said things I obsess
I would never confess

Let me watch by the fire and remember my days
And it may be a trick of the firelight
But the flickering pages that trouble my sight
Is a book I'm afraid to write

It takes four days to get to like me
but two to want to leave
but the part that really gets me
are all the moments in between

I can whisper in your ear
I can write a calendar year
I can wing around your Saturn smile and shout at the moon

Underneath Tonight's Half-Moon

Ugh... is tomorrow REALLY a workday? How did this super-sized weekend slip by so quickly?!?! Mom & I tried to take advantage of it by spending an extra hour at the beach; but, alas, our sun-on-the-beach time has slipped through our fingers like the finest grains of sand underneath our perfectly manicured toes!

We celebrated our independence at the 2nd Ave pier tonight. You know, you just have to TRUST that people who are setting off fireworks on the beach (the everyday joe's, not the city folks who set off the real ones from the pier) have at least a little bit of sense. But, they often DON'T! After we got a face full of burning embers, we decided it was time to move. And those dummies lost their privileges to set off fireworks. Just wish I could enforce that rule!

So... did you go watch fireworks tonight? Did you happen to see the moon? It was sooo pretty over the ocean. :) Isn't it funny that we can all share the same moon, no matter how far apart we are?

Anyway... I wanted to make sure Dad saw his picture on yesterday's post, so I lent him my laptop. Don't know why this strikes me as so funny, but it does, so here's today's sweet lil' pic of Dad:

And... assume the position...:

Finally... I've been living out of the same (SMALL) suitcase for over a week now. Isn't it obvious?! :)

On the Space-Time Continuum, I Sure Wish Time Would Slow Down Sometimes

I love the beach! Just thought you should know. Happy 4th (since the clock has already flipped the fresh start tonight!)!!! Hope you have a fabulous one!

Much luv (and more pics) from Myrtle Beach (if you hadn't already figured that out).

Mom & Dad cavorting in the pool... from our room here at the Quinta (Quinta... Spanish for "nice room available every time you book at the last minute")

Dad insisted on having a pic taken with his glasses on. Pouted until it happened! So, I figured it would be EVEN BETTER for him if I posted it here. Enjoy, Dad!

And finally, the two daughters. Don't we have, like, a million of this pic already??? Oh well... you can never have too many! One of these days, there will be a great one of both of us that we can both use for our MySpace profile pic!!!

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego... Oops, I Mean Heidi?!

OK, so some of you know that I've been enjoying the heck out of the flexibility of my job (I have to admit to the fact that I accidentally just wrote -- while Dad was watching a little stock market talk show -- "enjoying the heck out of the flexibility of my interest rate"!). So... Mom, Dad & I drove back to NC from DC on Friday and spent the night with Haley in Chapel Hill. We planned to head back to les montagnes on Saturday (after lunch at Big Jim's, of course!). But, my flexibility (and the desire to utilize the heck out of it) as well as everyone else's willingness to go along led us on a different path. Can anyone guess where we ended up? It's probably somewhere you've been a few times... well, maybe.

Crucial hint: It's a beach.

From the same spot... opposite directions:


I dragged (is it dragged or drug, grammar nazi?) my mom, dad, and baby sis with me as well. Syd's here too, but there are no pics of her on the beach yet. All that's missing: Jonny Cat, Coop, Kona, & you (unless you are Mom, Dad, Haley, or Sydney reading this from here!).



And finally, what would a picture post be without an artsy-fartsy fun creative pic? Sorry... I played with this one and decided to go ahead and post... my apologies to those of you who get too much of me already on a daily basis! :-)



Since we stayed in Chapel Hill one more night (Saturday) before coming to this place, I got the opportunity to have one more lunch at Ham's. (Can you tell I am MAJORLY lamenting Haley's move to Boone? I'm VERY excited for her but having a horribly hard time with the fact that I'm not going to be making it to CH on a regular basis anymore!!! I already miss it so much... and now I won't have that TIE back to the "place we hold so dear". Boy, talk about feeling incomplete! Anyone up for moving back there with me?) Anyway... Ham's... lunch... Saturday: the Gobbler Croissant was ab fab. The chips? 1st batch, not so great; 2nd, much better!

With love, from ........

Handing You a Square of Chapel Hill

I can't stop giggling at these photos, and when that happens, I just must share my joy. My apologies to those of you (besides me) who are in them! Obviously (!!!), we were packing up Haley's coat closet tonight. This closet also just happens to hold a few Halloween costumes and a certain something that belongs in the back closet of 107 Hill Hall. Please don't tell Mr. Fuchs.





Just out of curiosity, who wins the best Dolly competition?


By the way... in case you haven't heard, Haley's moving to Boone very, very, very soon. Wow! For the first time in ELEVEN years, I won't have a "home" in Chapel Hill. Traumatic!!!