Still Right Here Waiting

Come tomorrow, it would've been three full weeks since I stepped foot on that darn treadmill. So, of course, I couldn't let that happen. You know I wouldn't let you down! As I was jogging along today (what I do cannot be considered running, so I'll be generous to myself and call it "jogging")... anyway, so as I was jogging along today, I was thinking about all the interesting stuff I could write on my blog. And now... at the end of the day when it's time to actually write the stupid thing, I can't think of any of those interesting items. Go figure.

Anyway... How did I get stuck on Pepper Dennis? Seriously... how did that happen? When I watched it at the beginning of the season, I felt physical pain b/c it was so bad. Who knew Rebecca Romijn was that bad? And it's STILL that bad, don't get me wrong. But, it's my latest guilty pleasure! I BLAME TIVO (but I still love you!). Anyway, that's what I was up late watching tonight. Well... I was up late working (AGAIN) and that's what I elected to watch in the background (it was Grey's Anatomy re-runs before that). Maybe that's part of the key... only semi-paying attention to it.

So, again... even though I had several things on my mind earlier... I'm saying nothing again tonight. But I cannot leave you again without saying something. Therefore, I'll steal my something from one of the brave & creative souls who sent their secret in to Frank. Yeah, yeah... so I didn't make this postcard... but it says so much.



I had a friend way back when I was in high school. Well, he wasn't actually my friend per se, but I liked him nonetheless. I got to know him very casually because he was a referee for a few of my basketball games. And he worked at a local car dealership where Dad did/does lots of business. So, maybe he was more of a "I see you sometimes, recognize you and can say hi" friend. Anyway... I always enjoyed seeing him. He was a good ref; seemed to be a fun guy; etc. Then one day, he committed suicide. I just remember not understanding how someone could reach that stage of loneliness. How could he not know that I was his friend? Well, I mean, I would've gladly been his friend. I figured he already had a bunch of more appropriate friends than the little high schooler whose games he reffed. While that's probably true (and any friendship would've been weird), it has always stayed with me that... wow... it's harder for me to put into words than I would've hoped. I know it wasn't completely up to me to save his life. But, like with everything else in my life, when I think about him, I still feel a little guilty. Maybe if someone (it didn't have to be me... b/c, seriously, more than a little weird)... maybe if someone would've told him that he meant something to them, just maybe that could've saved his life. Maybe then things wouldn't have seemed so desperate for him. Maybe he'd still be here today and he could actually be my friend.

Okay, well... that didn't turn out exactly like I wanted it to... but it's really late (think 2 am... what did I tell you about not letting the time of the posts fool you?!?!), and working on it any more at this point would be silly. So, I'm leaving it alone for now. The point of all that is.. my friend did, indeed, mean a lot to me... no matter how fleeting his presence was in my life. I still think about him regularly and wish that I could've done something to help. And even with that said, I still don't tell the people I love that I love them nearly enough. To my favorite people in the world... and all the rest of y'all... I want each and every one of you to really know that I don't know what I'd do without you. Thanks for always being here.

Today and every day... happy everything! And many X's & O's from your girl in the 'Boro!