The Study of Me-Centrism

Well, yay... the computer works tonight! Score. I'm already doing better than last night. Sorry for the lack of posts last night/this morning. I'll try to make up for it in quality -- or quantity -- tonight. I know, I know... your vote is for quality, but we don't always get what we want now, do we?

So, I went to the most beautiful church this past weekend! The sanctuary at First Methodist was blow-you-away pretty. It was so nice, I could gush about it all week. Be prepared! And the people were very sweet. The little old women I sat amongst were all very welcoming (and all of them, shrinking as little old women are prone to do, expressed amazement at how tall I am... and that has encouraged me to wear my heeled sandals more often -- i.e., today -- until I noticed I was dwarfing some of the people around me... which has encouraged me to switch back to the flat flip flops). One woman (Helen) even invited me to come sit with her the next time I came. How nice is that?

Anyway, I was thinking earlier today... how is it that I have started turning any and all conversations to myself? Does it make it any less self-centered that I KNOW I'm doing it? Yeah, didn't think so. I guess that's a by-product of activities like blogging. (I mean, you can only really write about yourself... no one else wants me to air your laundry in this public forum, right (dirty or clean!)? And last I checked, no one wanted to talk through me... although, admittedly, it has been a few days since I checked the answering machine in my head.) I used to be a better listener. I DID. Jon used to tell me that it was my tendency to make it NOT about me that made me friends (or attracted the talk-about-me'ers to my sympathetic ear, at the very least). So, when did I turn into the talk-about-me'er myself? Because I so obviously have. I periodically try to step outside of myself and observe my life somewhat objectively (as if that's possible! wouldn't it be grand to be able to BE the little guy(s) on your should for once?!). And I've noticed. I've picked up that habit some people have (annoying to us listeners who really may not want to listen but, rather, would actually prefer having you show a little genuine interest in us to draw us out of our shells) of turning a perfectly normal conversation into a ME-fest. I don't really like ME-fests. But that brings me to my earlier question. If I know I'm doing, acknowledge it, and actually apologize for it (or express appreciation/gratitude to the ME-fest recipient), does that make it at least a little bit better? I hope so. Because I sincerely appreciate those of you who have been subjected lately to Heidi-fest. Thanks for lending me your ear. And when I neglect to make it known in our next conversation (which, I'm sure I will, since no doubt, I'll be wrapped up in myself yet again), I really do care about what's going on with you and I'd love to be your sympathetic ear once in a while. If the spirit moves you. Otherwise, I'll just be over here talking about me.