And Now It's Time To Go To Bed...

The Smithereens really hit the nail on the head:
   I never think about the future
   I just live for today

Yes, I know that you all know this about me; but it's time I admitted it for myself. I live in the moment. I'm a non-planner. I'm Yesterday Girl.

That's all well and good; but the PROBLEM with my non-planning-ness is that I'm also a bit of a worrier (when it comes to the non-planning). Hmm... that was confusing. I guess I'll have to explain. Bottom line, I think, is that I pick & choose the worst parts of being a planner vs. being a non-planner, and I embody them. Non-planners, for example, do not have the fun anticipation of an event. The I-can't-wait-until-I-get-to-do-that is lost on me because I'm a non-planner. My dad, although he's definitely not a true planner, does have the anticipation factor going for him. The last few times I just showed up, surprising him (thinking I was doing something cool that he would enjoy), he scolded me. His reasoning... he likes the anticipation of a visit. I get that. It makes sense. I don't know what that's like... but I think it might be nice. On the flip side, planners must always think one step ahead of the moment they're living in. So, I take that and think (well, worry) about the moment when my fun will be over. Let's use my visits to Mom & Dad's as an example again. They're generally pretty unplanned. I'm a spur-of-the-moment I'm-going-to-NC kind of girl. That's fun for me. But as soon as I pull into the driveway, I'm already thinking of how much it's going to suck to leave again. So, I spend a lot of my visit grieving (okay, maybe that's too strong a word, but you get the picture) the end of said visit. Y'know... I actually think I DID get that quality from my dad. I've heard him say on more than one occasion that the worst part of visiting us (Haley or me) is knowing that he'll be heading in other direction (away from us again) in a very short time. Did I get that right, Dad? Now, if you could just teach me to enjoy the anticipation, the lead-up, to a visit; that'd be great. Then I could be less of a non-planning planner, suffering through the worst of both worlds.

Anyway, my apologies to those of you who have been frustrated recently by either the planning or the non-planning side of me. Rest assured, it's worse for me... believe me.

Meanwhile, I love the sky. And I take lots of pictures of it. And I think it's really pretty. And I want to post those pictures here.




True time stamp (FYI): 1:50 am

Here I've just been rambling (even more) while you guys were all sleeping. And now it's time for me to rest my weary head. 5-4-3-2-zzzzzzz.