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Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Tonight Not Tonight
Written when we were trying to GET pregnant:
Funny how just about the same thing holds when we’re trying to HAVE the baby, huh?!?! Well, except for the going to have a beer & scheduling a go-blonde-again day. Those things are just around the corner, though… RIGHT?!
Worst things about being overdue (so far):
I wish I had a little 8 lb. hungry reason to be up at 5am, but the reason continues to be can’t-go-back-to-sleep-after-I-make-yet-another-pregnant-trip-to-the-bathroom. It’s disheartening to be +5 days overdue. This little squirt has really made us work for her… from conception to birth, it’s all about patience… of which I obviously have very little. I can’t wait till she’s here. I want that moment… when she arrives… so much. And yet, I almost feel like I’m (pre)ruining it by being so overly anxious and disheartened with every passing day. I hope it’s still as good as I’ve always thought it will be. I hope I get to meet you soon, little one.
ANYWAY... Today, in my life, is all about renewal. Yesterday was about disappointment. Let's cover yesterday first. Disappointments are, well, disappointing. It's not the end of the world, no. But it sure can feel like it when you're let down. It's the end of one road when it's hard to see the beginning of another. It's another wasted month, the inability to accomplish something you'd really like to do. A big fat splat as you faceplant when you're just trying to put one foot in front of the other. It's one more 'what's wrong with me?' You grieve for a moment that feels like it could last forever. Disappointment is big.
And then it's not. The sun comes up on a beautiful tomorrow. In a book about 'God's whisperings', you see an inspiring verse about hope. You hear a sermon about the prodigal son, and the preacher inserts a little tidbit about the best sentences ever written. You find one of the best sentences ever written... again in the book about 'God's whisperings'. You wake up to the first anniversary of a yucky (weather-wise) day that celebrates one year of happiness together. You start a cleaning project that gets easier every time you donate clothes & what-have-you to the church yard sale. You start the next month and live for another possibility of success. You have a beer and schedule a go-blonde-again day and start looking for next time.
Funny how just about the same thing holds when we’re trying to HAVE the baby, huh?!?! Well, except for the going to have a beer & scheduling a go-blonde-again day. Those things are just around the corner, though… RIGHT?!
Worst things about being overdue (so far):
- Having already finished everything and having nothing to do to prepare for her arrival
- Putting everything else on hold to await her arrival (or watching everyone else do this)
- Constant attention to every little thing going on in my body… when nothing.is.happening.
- Desiring a “natural” birth but feeling like we’re barreling toward an induction/c-section/not-what-we-planned
- The waiting… the wanting to just meet her… the overwhelming desire to get this next part started!
- Every day’s disappointment when it feels like NOTHING is happening
- The worry that it’s going too long
I wish I had a little 8 lb. hungry reason to be up at 5am, but the reason continues to be can’t-go-back-to-sleep-after-I-make-yet-another-pregnant-trip-to-the-bathroom. It’s disheartening to be +5 days overdue. This little squirt has really made us work for her… from conception to birth, it’s all about patience… of which I obviously have very little. I can’t wait till she’s here. I want that moment… when she arrives… so much. And yet, I almost feel like I’m (pre)ruining it by being so overly anxious and disheartened with every passing day. I hope it’s still as good as I’ve always thought it will be. I hope I get to meet you soon, little one.
Monday, March 15, 2010
GRRR
Ugh. It's time, once again, in my work life for the neverending project. It seems like I just finish a newsletter and it's time to do another one. It must simply take me that long to complete one. OK. I admit. That's partially the case. I try not to drag my feet on them, but they just take forever to get completed!
OK, enough complaining. It's late. Darin's getting frustrated that I'm typing. Yep, he just told me. FINE. Night.
OK, enough complaining. It's late. Darin's getting frustrated that I'm typing. Yep, he just told me. FINE. Night.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Forgive Me. I'm Just Trying to Knock the Dust Off and Hone the Ol' Blogging Skills
Wow... it's been a long time since I've been back here. It's so easy to forget to blog every once in a while. Just like it's easy to forget to be healthy (eat well and exercise). (I've been falling down on those goals, too.) But, here I am. Yet another renewed effort at "Who Wants to Know?"
Speaking of "Who Wants to Know?", it's probably time for a redesign. I'll put that on the to-do list. Who am I kidding? It probably won't happen anytime soon. But, at least it'll be on the list!
So, I've been out 'n about in the non-blogging world for a long while. I didn't even glance at the date of my last post. I do know there was one short one within the last year... to which some random person who stumbled upon my little corner of the interweb called me lame. THANKS, buddy. 'Preciate it. And there was a saved draft of a post about counting my blessings from a few months back. But that was just a non-starter and never really made anything of itself. (Not because there weren't tons of blessings to count... probably more like too many to number, and the topic was too overwhelming to even consider finishing!) Basically, this blog was catharsis for me back when I was blogging religiously; and when I didn't need the outlet anymore (in other words, when the divorce was final and I moved back home to start a new life), it was easy to just let it go. But the bottom line is: I like writing. Well, I don't enjoy the process, but I love the end result. Most of the time. Other times, probably like today, it's too hard to see through the words to really feel the meaning. But I'm determined to hit the "Publish Post" button, so better to get on with it than spend all day trying to perfect the story.
ANYWAY... Today, in my life, is all about renewal. Yesterday was about disappointment. Let's cover yesterday first. Disappointments are, well, disappointing. It's not the end of the world, no. But it sure can feel like it when you're let down. It's the end of one road when it's hard to see the beginning of another. It's another wasted month, the inability to accomplish something you'd really like to do. A big fat splat as you faceplant when you're just trying to put one foot in front of the other. It's one more 'what's wrong with me?' You grieve for a moment that feels like it could last forever. Disappointment is big.
And then it's not. The sun comes up on a beautiful tomorrow. In a book about 'God's whisperings', you see an inspiring verse about hope. You hear a sermon about the prodigal son, and the preacher inserts a little tidbit about the best sentences ever written. You find one of the best sentences ever written... again in the book about 'God's whisperings'. You wake up to the first anniversary of a yucky (weather-wise) day that celebrates one year of happiness together. You start a cleaning project that gets easier every time you donate clothes & what-have-you to the church yard sale. You start the next month and live for another possibility of success. You have a beer and schedule a go-blonde-again day and start looking for next time.
I wish I could say I'll be back tomorrow. I may not. But I would like to be. Hopefully, I'll remember to be and want to be and actually try to be. Until then...
Oh, and the verse and sentence:
1) "There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off." Proverbs 23:18.
2) "My heart is ever at your service." William Shakespeare.
Aren't those just beautiful?
I hope you're having a sunny, beautiful day... wherever you find yourself today.
Speaking of "Who Wants to Know?", it's probably time for a redesign. I'll put that on the to-do list. Who am I kidding? It probably won't happen anytime soon. But, at least it'll be on the list!
So, I've been out 'n about in the non-blogging world for a long while. I didn't even glance at the date of my last post. I do know there was one short one within the last year... to which some random person who stumbled upon my little corner of the interweb called me lame. THANKS, buddy. 'Preciate it. And there was a saved draft of a post about counting my blessings from a few months back. But that was just a non-starter and never really made anything of itself. (Not because there weren't tons of blessings to count... probably more like too many to number, and the topic was too overwhelming to even consider finishing!) Basically, this blog was catharsis for me back when I was blogging religiously; and when I didn't need the outlet anymore (in other words, when the divorce was final and I moved back home to start a new life), it was easy to just let it go. But the bottom line is: I like writing. Well, I don't enjoy the process, but I love the end result. Most of the time. Other times, probably like today, it's too hard to see through the words to really feel the meaning. But I'm determined to hit the "Publish Post" button, so better to get on with it than spend all day trying to perfect the story.
ANYWAY... Today, in my life, is all about renewal. Yesterday was about disappointment. Let's cover yesterday first. Disappointments are, well, disappointing. It's not the end of the world, no. But it sure can feel like it when you're let down. It's the end of one road when it's hard to see the beginning of another. It's another wasted month, the inability to accomplish something you'd really like to do. A big fat splat as you faceplant when you're just trying to put one foot in front of the other. It's one more 'what's wrong with me?' You grieve for a moment that feels like it could last forever. Disappointment is big.
And then it's not. The sun comes up on a beautiful tomorrow. In a book about 'God's whisperings', you see an inspiring verse about hope. You hear a sermon about the prodigal son, and the preacher inserts a little tidbit about the best sentences ever written. You find one of the best sentences ever written... again in the book about 'God's whisperings'. You wake up to the first anniversary of a yucky (weather-wise) day that celebrates one year of happiness together. You start a cleaning project that gets easier every time you donate clothes & what-have-you to the church yard sale. You start the next month and live for another possibility of success. You have a beer and schedule a go-blonde-again day and start looking for next time.
I wish I could say I'll be back tomorrow. I may not. But I would like to be. Hopefully, I'll remember to be and want to be and actually try to be. Until then...
Oh, and the verse and sentence:
1) "There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off." Proverbs 23:18.
2) "My heart is ever at your service." William Shakespeare.
Aren't those just beautiful?
I hope you're having a sunny, beautiful day... wherever you find yourself today.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Again and Yet Again
Oh boy, oh boy... is it HARD to go back?!?! Starting back on the schedule again kicks one's rear end. Work, working out, same old *&^%... yeah, it'll get you. But it's worth it, right? It must be. Otherwise, WHY would we subject ourselves to this?
Monday, August 18, 2008
Who Ya Gonna Vote For?
If you didn't see it live on Saturday night, and you are interested in presidential politics, you might want to check out the Saddleback Civil Forum. Pastor Rick Warren asks Obama and McCain the same questions. Obama went first and was a little long-winded. McCain sat in a "cone of silence" during Obama's interview and then answered the exact same questions when he came on-stage. Interesting. Marked differences, and yet so many similarities. Despite what you may think you know about my preference for president, I like both of these candidates. And I want to believe in both/either of them!
http://www.cnn.com/POLITICS
http://www.cnn.com/POLITICS
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Where've I Been?
Today's Quote
Days are scrolls: write on them only what you want remembered.
-Bchya Ibn Pakuda
Contrary to what my actions lately may have you to believe, my days have been GREAT recently... it's just that I haven't written the good stuff down here on my scroll.
I'm determined to start doing better. I loved blogging back when I was doing it religiously. But I let the personal I-don't-really-want-to-share-with-the-world stuff get in the way of my public airing-of-laundry. And that's not really me. I'm a very open person... sometimes to my detriment. I'm also a very protective person of those about whom I care. So, if something could've been hurtful to them, I haven't written it for the world to see. But, time heals, right? And if things are good in my life, it's okay to share, right? I mean, if you really care for me, you're happy to read aobut the good stuff that makes me happy, yes? Yeah, I don't know. It could still be hard. So, be warned. I'm coming back out with my happy scrolls. If you don't want to read, delete the bookmark or RSS feed.
Pics and good stuff to follow...
Days are scrolls: write on them only what you want remembered.
-Bchya Ibn Pakuda
Contrary to what my actions lately may have you to believe, my days have been GREAT recently... it's just that I haven't written the good stuff down here on my scroll.
I'm determined to start doing better. I loved blogging back when I was doing it religiously. But I let the personal I-don't-really-want-to-share-with-the-world stuff get in the way of my public airing-of-laundry. And that's not really me. I'm a very open person... sometimes to my detriment. I'm also a very protective person of those about whom I care. So, if something could've been hurtful to them, I haven't written it for the world to see. But, time heals, right? And if things are good in my life, it's okay to share, right? I mean, if you really care for me, you're happy to read aobut the good stuff that makes me happy, yes? Yeah, I don't know. It could still be hard. So, be warned. I'm coming back out with my happy scrolls. If you don't want to read, delete the bookmark or RSS feed.
Pics and good stuff to follow...
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Early Mornings, McDonalds, and iPhones
Two things on my mind this morning:
1) Certain McDonalds hate me... a McGriddle is NOT a biscuit and steak 'n cheese is not sausage 'n cheese. BUMMER.
2) Go Little Guys! The big phone carriers who grab these exclusive deals on the fun new phones need to BACK OFF. The little guys are gunning for ya: Let's Go To Court.
1) Certain McDonalds hate me... a McGriddle is NOT a biscuit and steak 'n cheese is not sausage 'n cheese. BUMMER.
2) Go Little Guys! The big phone carriers who grab these exclusive deals on the fun new phones need to BACK OFF. The little guys are gunning for ya: Let's Go To Court.
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