Tomorrow's Quote... Yep, Already Today

Today's Quote

Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter.

-Bono

Squeeze the Life Out of It

Some days, I just really don't feel like writing anything. But I always wish I could. If only there were words... or if only there were words that I could come up with.

I guess a recent devotional "thought for the day" (or two!) will have to suffice:
"Just for today, trust God for help with today's tasks."
"The Holy Spirit can help us handle any situation."

Appreciate your thoughts and prayers... both of us do.

Go Heels!

My faves so far this year:
- Rebounding by Deon
- Blocks by Alex
- HUSTLE by Danny

Gosh... I'm so exhausted. Sometimes a bit of a breakdown causes you to get tired. I'm going to bed. Wow... early for me... 11:00. No more breakdowns. No more wine. No more pie. Got it.

Thanks to all of you who were worried 'bout me and reached out. Yes, I've had my fill of explaining. But I appreciated the thoughts, prayers, and words of encouragement. Love you guys.

To My Dad

I dreamed a dream recently that you sent me an e-mail telling me how disappointed you were in me. I love you, and I don't want you to EVER be disappointed in me. How can I make it up to you? I'm sorry. I made a mistake. And here I am. Broken and sad and crying. Please don't be disappointed in me. I'm human. And we SUCK.

I Would've Picked a Disability I Could Spell and Other Inappropriate Titles of the Novel-Never-To-Be-Written

Okay, so maybe it's technically "tomorrow", but I'm going to take pride in actually completing the "today" tasks I set out for myself:
   - Submit Atlanta trip expense report
   - "Clean up" e-mail... goal of less than 100 in inbox
   - Scrub HRIS Data Transition Team project plan & send to Bill

Check, check, and check. And all without really picking up the computer over the break. Man, I needed that break. I've been "plugged in" for what seems like forever. I need to seriously work on breaking the habit. Just today, my computer has been on and at-work since 8:30 am. I took a break for a 15-minute shower at 10:00, a 30-minute lunch run at 11:00, a 15-minute bike ride for the dogs at 6:00, a 45-minute run at 6:15, another 15-minute shower at 7:00, and a 5-minute microwave-my-dinner moment at 8:15. Needless to say, little Daisy is overworked and overheated at the moment. I'll be SOOOOOO glad to get her off my lap here in a second.

So... I know it's been a while since I checked in with you guys. Sorry if I left you hanging. How was my holiday, you wonder? Well, it was sports- and food-filled! Good gosh, if I don't have another turkey dinner until next Thanksgiving, I'll probably enjoy the break. And Mom, I do not appreciate the extra cakes/pies I brought home with me. I thought we were all in a pact to lose a little pound-age this week! As for sports... there was the typical pro football on Thursday, shopping on Friday (c'mon, it's as sport!), college football (I-AA playoff game... Go APP!) on Saturday, and the Panthers lousy stinking home loss on Sunday. My bundling clothes got a workout this weekend at the Mountaineer game on Saturday in the 30-degree weather and at the Panthers game on Sunday in the 40-degree weather. We were adequately prepared for both, though, so there's, thankfully, no hypothermia of which to speak!

Okay... a couple shots from the weekend's football madness, check to make sure that last e-mail (with the project plan attached) sent, then I'm off to dreamland for the night. First of all, the App game... which was ultra-exciting at the end (so very few pics after pregame!). Plus, it was freezing... so no bare fingers to play around with camera.


Then, the Panthers. Lots of boredom and a sucky game, thus silly pics. And because I think I'm funny... Haley, see? Popped collar and all.

Objects in Mirror May Be Closer Than They Appear

Lunch-Time Ride-Along

Offering Up a Thank You to All Who Memory-Treasure

This week, a week for thankfulness. And here where there's so much to be thankful for. I've been blessed with the quick-to-sleep gene. It's all I can do to keep my eyes open for the five minutes it's gonna take me to finish this post. Meanwhile, Haley struggles for an hour... tonight, at least. Hopefully, she's heading to dreamland soon herself. Also, family and friends. Even those of you who don't check up on me here every day (but especially those of you who do), I miss you and love you and am darn thankful for you. A couple of stinky pooches who will snuggle, snuggle, snuggle until my heart's content. A gigantic HDTV with crystal clear picture and Tivo... okay, I don't really need that... but it's nice. Health, strength, and endurance enough to run farther than I ever have before. Food on the table... even when I complain about my choices. The freedom to say what I want on this here blog... as long as I attribute anything that's not directly mine to the rightful owner. Speaking of which... Jason's blog actually got me thinking about how I'm thankful for my travels here lately AND for my ability to just sit and enjoy the view sometimes.

A question, courtesy of my friends at Café Gratitude, The Makepeace Bros.

Would you rather:

…Be planted in the ground, rooted like a tree in front of a breathtaking natural landscape for the rest of your life… or,

…Travel the world forever under the conditions that you had to leave the city you were in by 2 o’clock the next day and couldn’t return to that city for 3 years; able to see the world but always moving locations at 2pm everyday.

Interesting question, isn't it?

And one more from today's daily reading:

We give thanks to God for God’s goodness, for our salvation, not for our stuff but for the love; like the wise with some age on them, we don’t devise a list of things we want for Christmas, for all we really want is to be with those we love, and to reminisce for a little while. We give thanks for the treasury of memory that is our life, and for opportunities to give other people cause to give thanks for God’s goodness.
- James

Here's hoping your cornucopia is filled with beautiful and delicious goodies for which you can offer abundant thanks. And one more happy b'day, Brad!

The "Do What"s and "I Know, Right"s of My Life

This weekend was so much fun. Do I really have to go back to work tomorrow? Oh no... and there my brain goes thinking back to the work week last week. There's still that to deal with. NO... back to the city and all that is fun.








Etc., etc., etc. I miss my friend.

Lawyers and Orthodontists By Gosh

Sometimes, when you're having an icky day, you just have to go and force it to change. After an "ugh" morning, I decided to go wandering. Unlike the wandering I did early this morning when I had no idea where the HR department was in the ATL office, I knew where I was going. Well, I had an idea, at least.

You know, it just stinks that so many good people... MY people... are so frustrated with everything. I swear... I'm trying, but it's hard to be positive -- even with the best of intentions -- when you watch good friends being pulled down quickly by the lack of decision-making, slow progress, and general feeling of not being paid attention to. But, it is what it is. Isn't it always?!

So, I thoroughly enjoy the city life... where stores are actually open until late. It's like you're allowed to live after 5:00 pm. Imagine that. And even after you've shopped, you still have time to get home, start to try on the shoes you just bought, realize you have two left shoes, take 'em back to the store to trade 'em, and go to the next store to use a year-plus-old gift card.

Truly Crazy and I Love It

Yes, to answer your question, I did go to bed early last night. And yes, I forgot to put something on the blog. S-O-R-R-Y. Honestly, I think I dreamed about not posting a hello to you guys here last night. I believe my subconscious was very remorseful. Yet, my fully-conscious says... SHUT UP. I do this for ME.

So, on my drive over here today? Yeah... I really should stop multitasking (or thinking) while I'm driving. Just kidding. You don't have to be scared to death. I'm safe. I'm just periodically reminding myself that it's not the best idea to type an email at 80.

Well, this trip ends up being somewhat of a bust. The whole crew leaves tomorrow... part at noon-ish and part a little later. I ended up taking advantage of a 2nd dinner invitation, Mom... so I didn't follow through with the original plan to go grab fast food and shop for jeans for the concert like I thought I was gonna. I did, however, drag my buddy Bill along for the 2nd part of my original plan... drinks at Taco Mac. Haley, that was for you & Yousef.

Once again, this gathering of the COR brain trust feels like yet another goodbye. I just wish I could see the other side of all this. What's the end result? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel or just a big dark wall to run into? I'm tired of feeling like I'm in competition for a spot in my own darn life. Isn't it supposed to be better than this? *Sigh*

The Wide World of Choo-Choo

What happens to time? I seriously didn't think it had been that long since I ran the last time, but... come to find out (by the note I left myself on the treadmill), it was way back on 10/22. Twenty-one days ago. Gosh. And here I just said that I would do better about it. Well, tonight I renew the effort... for the millionth time... probably yet another failed attempt. But you never know unless you try again, right?

I kid myself into thinking i'm exercising by going for bike rides with my kids. But really, it only taxes me when they hightail it after the UPS truck or some random kids-on-a-golf-cart. Meanwhile, the leisurely pace usually leaves me with tons of time to just pedal slowly and think, think, think. Lately, I've been thinking about trains.

There are several trains in my life right now. Theoretical trains, for the most part. What I found myself wondering about today is... how can I determine which trains are engineered by God and which are worldly trains? Because, truly, I find myself inclined to jump in front of them, throw my warm body onto the tracks, do anything I can to stop those darn trains. But then I think, well... if it's truly God's will for this train to be chugging down this track, who am I to try to derail it? So, from out in front of the train, as it's bearing down on me... how can I see who's driving it?

I Can Do the Frug

OMG... did you know Top Gun is 21 years old? Also... my sister is beautiful. Definitely the prettier sister. And last thing before I check out for the day... I'm still very sad to say g'bye to Mary. She wrote a really sweet e-mail tonight that left me sitting and staring and thinking about the future. Darn it, Mary.

Today's Message is Brought to You By... Beliefnet

Today's Quote

Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in.

-Andrew Jackson

Try As I May, With All My Might

After the crap day role that yesterday played, I was due a good, productive day today. So, I forced it on myself. I was so positive and friendly and helpful and good today... if I do say so myself. But I really don't have to say so myself, because my new/old/different bestie-coworker told me with a sly little "Mickey’s playground must have been relaxing for you. Your efforts on this project are greatly appreciated." Cute, huh? Yeah, yeah, I've been to Disney World this week. Well, I stayed on Disney property (at the Boardwalk) and visited EPCOT Monday night, at least. I enjoyed it so much that getting back to work today was pleasurable. Or maybe that's just because yesterday stunk so much.

So, on the DC front... yeah, I'm a cheat. Had one DC today. But only one. Regardless, I'm not sure this whole giving-up-DC thing is the right thing for me anyway. What will I possibly drink instead?

Took the doggies on a bike ride tonight. Learned first-hand how cold it's gotten in SE Georgia over the last couple of days. At the moment, the Weather Channel Desktop tool is telling me it's 39 degrees out there. My ears told me it was less. Gotta go warm them by the fire... or just by going to bed. No 3AM for me tonight! Is 10:34pm too early to go to bed?

The Giving Up is the Hardest Part... aka Taken in with Crying Eyes

Giving something that you love, love, love, love, love up... even for a temporary period of time... is excruciating. After you make the initial decision to stop using, how long until you stop being fixated on it, craving it, dying to have it? A week, three months, a year? I wouldn't know. Every time I've tried it before, I've given in well before that end-fixation point. (Don't get me wrong... when I set a goal for giving something up for a period of time, I've achieved that goal... I've just never worked beyond the goal well enough into the okay-I-don't-HAVE-to-have-it-anymore stage.) I don't see myself being any more successful this time, but I'm giving it a shot. Starting tomorrow, I'm giving up my lifeblood, my will to live, my Diet Coke. For three months. Yes, again. I'm setting myself up for failure by setting an end date as opposed to simply giving it up for good, yes I know. But the juice simply plays such an important part in my life, I KNOW I'll have to go back to it sooner or later.

It's good to have a detox every once in a while, right? I have to believe that... otherwise, I'll just continue to live off of it, using, we'll say... and that just simply cannot be good. Already, though, I'm fixated, obsessed, can't get the taste out of my mouth. And I JUST decided to give it up for a while. I can't imagine tomorrow is any better. I can't imagine the next day or the day after or the day after that is any better. I can see myself craving the stuff for as long as I last before I cheat. I just don't think my brain ever stops wanting more. It loves it too much. How do I make it stop? And do I really want it to stop? Well, we'll see how it goes...

Meanwhile, I thought I'd share a little list o' songs with you tonight. These were the playlist from my ridiculously-dumb-drive-four-hours-to-fly-another-two-hours-when-you-could-drive-the-whole-thing-in-five return trip tonight. I kept getting inspired (with the DC thing and other stuff) by lines within each... it was like God was giving me a little four-hour lessons-in-life show during the trip. I won't bore you with my fave lines, though. Feel free to think about each song for yourself. Or don't think at all. But at least read the list and see if anything jumps out at you or starts up a record in your head.
   Back To You, John Mayer
   Sweetest Goodbye, Maroon 5
   Far Away, Nickelback
   Do It To It, Cherish
   Fat Bottomed Girls, Queen
   The Good Kind, The Wreckers
   When Love and Hate Collide, Def Leppard
   I Think I'm In Love With You, Jessica Simpson
   So Much To Say, DMB
   Russian Roulette, Edwin McCain
   Stay, Alison Krauss
   Invincible, Crossfade
   Don't Bring Me Down, Edwin McCain
   Lazy Eye, Silversun Pickups
   I Don't Trust Myself, John Mayer
   Stand Up and Shout, Steel Dragon (Soundtrack, Rock Star)
   My Stupid Mouth, John Mayer
   She'll Never Be Me, Britney Spears
   83, John Mayer
   Powerless, Nelly Furtado
   Warning Sign, Coldplay
   The Space Between, DMB
   Money Maker, Ludacris
   Anna Molly, Incubus
   You're Beautiful, James Blunt
   Call Me When You're Sober, Evanescence
   Smack That, Akon & Eminem
   Sunday Morning, Maroon 5
   Sexyback, Justin Timberlake
   Dreaming With a Broken Heart, John Mayer

Finally, the other thing I've decided to quit doing... asking/expecting others to do something that may not be best for them simply because I think it's best for me. With Mary's decision that she won't be coming over to the new company (fyi... last night's cryptic post), I realize that I've been pushing for her to do just that because I'm unwilling to let her go. I have to let her go. Maybe going is what's best for her. But it makes me sad. Extremely sad. I miss her already.

This really blows... giving up everything all at once. Well, shoot, while I'm at it... I'm also pledging to run 3 times a week and cut way back on the fast food. Might as well be smart, positive, and healthy alongside miserable.

When Life Hands You Lemons...

Some days stink. Goodbyes suck. Being wrong blows. I think I'll just go to bed.

Only the Coolest Among Us Can Be Born on All Saints' Day

Thanks to all you spacers, callers, emailers, snail mailers, and texters out there who took time out of your busy days to say happy birthday! It was, indeed, my birthday (by now, yesterday... phew, thank goodness that's over), and I appreciate that you noticed... even though I kinda told ya here for the past week or so. I know I shouldn't, but I just can't help myself. I'm wrapped up in me like that, I reckon. I like my birthday. I like celebrating it. So, I talk about it every chance I get. I like to think it doesn't bother y'all too much. Thanks for letting me continue to live in my happy place.

Chili's brought me to a happy place tonight. The Boro has been expecting this new establishment for weeks/months now, and as I drove by yesterday, I noticed they were finally hanging the sign. Plus, Jon noticed lots of cars in the parking lot as he came by yesterday evening. So, we thought we'd drive by and see what was going on over there. Jon dropped me at the front door to go ask about the dealio. The greeter answered my "so when do you open?" with "Monday, November 5"; but the manager standing there with her decided to grace us with a preview of what I'm sure will be many meals to come. He said, "Come on in and eat with us tonight." So, we amble on in and find out that, in addition to having the privilege of dining in the brand-spanking new restaurant, we get our meals for free. It's training day. And evidently, no one pays on training day. I want to know how those other people all got it. Nobody told us about it or invited us to an invitation-only event. We just stumbled upon it, by gosh. They all probably had a reason to be there. Anyway, Shanghai Wings, Chicken Crispers, and Bacon Cheeseburger later, we were stuffed and thrilled with a zeroed-out check. We really wanted to give the waitress or the restaurant (whose alcohol sales -- the only thing they HAD to charge for -- were going to Saint Jude) something to compensate for our experience, the waitress let us know that they really weren't ready to take payments. So, could I please keep my money? LOL... the fiscally responsible side of me (that which is completely inherited from Dad, whom I knew would be thrilled to hear our entire dinner had been FREE) rejoiced... while the overly generous give-when-you-can side of me (even though she's not sooo fiscally irresponsible, she's definitely a little freer with the funds than Dad; so I'll assume this half-trait comes from Mama) was a little stricken. Luckily, Memaw called to wish me a happy birthday just as we were discussing the leave-a-tip, leave-'em'something options, so we were able to forego the whole thing and slip out while I was on the phone.

So... thirty-one is evidently a much sleepier age than thirty. I'll just be over here drifting off while you're reading...zzz...

Thanks again for the birthday wishes. Love you guys.

Oh, and one more thing... b/c it makes me smile. Cooper says, "Can we not... PLEASE?!"